Can't Understand

I dunno, why I am this emo. Maybe because I have buried it for months and today it comes up once and for all. I just can't understand guys, I know that all of you are very busy, meanwhile I'm just a pathectic jobless guy, but is it logical that each of you doesn't have the same free time in 4 months? Is it just a coincidence that every time I ask for a gathering and you guys can't make it? Is it too hard to let your works/studies activities stop for just a quarter of a day? Is it so hard to have a day just for 4 of us? I dunno, I really hope my thought is wrong, but I feel like this group (even dunno it is appropriate to call it so) is not important at all for you guys. It can be seen how easily we'll cancel our gathering even we've talked about it two days before. If you feel like what I thought, then I won't struggle for this group anymore. It's not like I'm the person with unlimited patience, I also can't bear with repeated disappointments. I dare to bet that no one will ask for a gathering in half of a year. If you read this, please feel free to judge me. I'm not a perfect person anyway...