Thoughts about buddy

Just saw an album of photos which was uploaded by my buddy at facebook. He went rafting with his tutorial group. Hmm, wondering how fun it would be. Meanwhile I never feel exciting things like that. I even dunno whether I'm ready for things like that or not. Funny if I think it over again. We are buddies with a lot of differences. He likes adrenaline-pumping things, while I like slow, calm things. He likes to play at water places, while I'm not. He likes to show up himself in front of people, while I like to be alone. He likes to smile to everybody, while I smile only to certain people. He likes to talk funny things, while I often talk bout serious things. He likes to procrastinate, while I wanna accomplish things as fast as possible. He likes to try something new, while I like to enjoy staying at my comfort zone. He likes to be involved in an organization, while I like to work alone. See? We have a lot of differences, and we are buddies =) Mostly he has the positive ones, and he taught me much of his traits. Yeah, now I try to learn to accept new things, speak in front of people, and smile or greet people. Maybe one thing that he can hardly change from me, love water places XD Dunno why I don't like places like those so much. Hmph, another thing to be given thanks for today =)

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Contradiction

Just had a ... what should I say? A quarrel? Or maybe an argument? Or things like that with my mom. It was bout my bro. I dunno why she could say things that contradicted what she had ever said. In short, she regretted why my bro chose to become a doctor. In my sense, there's nothing wrong with that. I know that it takes a long time to become a doctor, but that's what it's supposed to be. And the only reason why she regretted was only she wanted him to work as soon as possible. She said he couldn't work with his chosen job now. Oh My God, how narrow and shallow was my mom's thought. He could do his job, so what's wrong with that?! He could be a doctor at any place around the world. Why couldn't she think a simple thing like that? I remember that she won't force whatever major that we gonna choose in the university, but ironically she contradicted herself with regretting my bro's choice. It's okay that she regretted it in front of me, but how if my bro knows it? In another word, she could have destroyed his dream! So what if he can work now? Then, u ask him to get married? Then have a so-so life? Oh please, I dun want that life, I have dreams to be achived. My life is wasted if I do things like that. Haaah, sometimes I just wanna advice her, but she is too hard-headed for any advice, so I just keep shut up for my own good. May God bless her, open up her mind a lil' bit...

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Distance

Hey ya, before I'm babbling about my thoughts, I just wanna say Happy Chinese New Year to all of you who celebrated it, and also Happy Belated Valentine's Day =D Hmph, just saw 2 posts from dearest Purplelicious this morning, surprisingly in the Facebook groups. Since when she can do something like that? Haha, maybe just myself who don't know about that. 

What she posted were about friends again. Yeah, same thought as mine. All of us are getting apart, each day we are farther and farther. But this is life, this is human's nature, which we will getting apart farther as we have different purpose of life. We may sad about the distance, but this is what we should bear. It hurts to be alone, but then we can find things which can make us forget about the loneliness. And also don't forget, we all have God, no matter what your religion or belief is, we can find our God. 

Well, seems like I change my definition of 'buddies' again, the definition that will trash out my possessive nature =) For me, now 'buddies' are the ones who are more interested with my own life, who I can talk to just the way I am, who can 'thrust'  into the deepest place of my heart. They are no longer the ones that I must know every single things and plans that they did/do. We all are changing everyday, so that I must let go the 'used-to' them. The most important thing is that our memories, that we'll remember till the end of our life. Haaahh, thought of many things yet can't write it here, hahax =D

Half Cover Terjebak Nostalgia by Raisa

Did this just for fun actually =) Raisa - Terjebak Nostalgia (Half Cover) by daufquest on SoundCloud

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Another thought

This thought is also swimming in my mind's pool. Do my buddies ever think of me? Do they ever miss my presence? This is what I always wonder. I do miss them, I do think of them. Even sometimes I think them on every spare time that I have. Sometimes it's torturing, when I am missing them so much. But do they do the same thing as I do? Hmm, maybe no. It's because they are all busy, they have many activities to do while I have so much spare time. Sometimes I just wanna have a chat with them, but then I'm afraid of disturbing them. Maybe one more thing, am I too talktative to them? It's quite the opposite of me when I meet regular friends. When I'm with my buddies, it's just like I am the one who is talkative and they are the quite ones. Well, they used to be the one who are asking many things about me, but now I am the one who needs to find topics of our chats. I dunno since when this thing has happened. Haaaah, I just hope that nothing bad is gonna happened in our friendships...

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Random thoughts

Hmm, popped out these random thoughts in my mind. Let's start about one of my buddies, WE. I know that since we graduated from high school, we rarely meet again. Yeah, it's because he's very busy with his routine activities: go to university and work. Hardly I can see him has spare time in his life now. The only days he has spare time is when his university's holiday. Hmm, I think it's more than a half year that we never hang out with only two of us. This is the issue, something has gone between us. Yes, we're still buddies, but then we're not we used to be anymore. I mean that, it's just we lack of interests in each other's life now. I used to ask about his day, but then I found out I am kinda disturbing him, so I stop it. Hmph, cold, that's what I can describe about our friendship now. I'm afraid that we're getting further apart. I really miss the 'old' us. But then life surely changes constantly. I just can't adapt well to the changes, can't catch up with them.

Then, about my future. I'm kinda confused, about what will be the next plan after I graduated from college. I hope that my lecturer can refer me to companies, so that I can work directly after I graduated. I'm thinking of taking professional degree also, but I want to take it outside this city, maybe I'll take it at Jogja. My lecturer suggests me to take master degree at Aussie, and also working at the same time. Hmm, I think that I can postpone about the master degree, because I wanna get myself settled first. I don't wanna rely on my parents anymore after I can get my own money, and I wanna cover my education fees myself. Haah, hopefully what I plan will be going well. But in the end, it's God who will lead me to the right path =)

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