Payphone

Dunno why this song is very catchy in my ears, really love it =)

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Flat

Dunno why feel flat these days. Feels like nothing inside. Even I can't feel blue anymore. Maybe I just feel blue too much that I become resist with it. Hufh, just spent today with doing lil' stuffs. Yesterday, I was busy with my Marketing project, and today I did again my graduation speech. It took a lot of time to edit the photos, quite tired with it == Kinda have obsession in finishing all Financial Management questions, dunno why I am so attracted with it XD I need to answer the question, so that I won't waste my time on finding the answer when I have to study for final.

Well, spent just 1 hour on his grand plan, I really dun have any idea anymore about the plan. It's kinda hard for me to do what he asked, but I have got some and I still have several weeks before the deadline. Hope that I can give my best to him =)

Sudden sad

Here I am again, dunno what's getting inside me tonight. Just suddenly feel sad, when I saw at most of my friends' pics, they changed, I bet into a better one. But how about me? Still the old boring boy who always aim for good grades and changed into lazier one. Hufh, keep on telling myself that I am different from them, my phase of life is just totally different from them. Yeah, still, that feeling popped up. I also feel that my friendships with my buddies aren't going well. I keep on blaming myself of not talking well to them. Just something has gone, lost, dunno where it goes. E,W,W,C,V,W, I really hope that our friendships will remain the same forever...Hufh, maybe sleep can let this feeling fade away...

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Encouraging envy

Hmm, looking at what my buddies are doing and things that have been achieved by them, I realized that I am truly behind them right now. Yeah, really, they leave me very very behind. That's what I felt. Look at them, learn many new things, work, become member of organizations. And look at myself now, neither of them that I do. Hmph, kinda envy of them. They have achieved many things, while I even don't know what I have achieved. Trapped in this low-competition college is not a good thing. While they have to struggle for their university's life, I am very relax with it. My ability to compete is lower now, because of the college environment. But, I won't give up easily, I will try and try to catch up with them.

Spent two hours on doing my buddy's grand plan, I really hope what I found can help him and suit with what he wants. Hmm, excited with it also, with how it will going...=)

Soon to over

Time sure flies too fast. It is already the last week of June, and I am still wondering what I have achieved during this month. Well, can't think of it, I am sure I achieved only few things during this month. Hmm, this semester is quite hectic, that I can't even have a day to fully relax, free from any subjects. It's closer and closer to final, I really hope to finish this semester sooner. Yeah, this semester is not a fun one, especially for the courses. But still, I have to do my best for all of them. 

Hmm, probably I will present the graduation speech tomorrow, just think positive on it. Hopefully I can do well on this last speech for the course. Amen...

Cold morning

Had a not good sleep. Just woke up with a hollow feeling. I really miss that morning, when I was still at school, when I could feel peace when I woke up. But now, it's just cold feeling that left inside. Kinda sad with it. One of my buddies said yesterday,"Move on". Yeah, move on, but I'm afraid of keep forgeting my oldie friends as I move on. So, I'm in a big dilemma, move on or not? Keep on having this missing feeling that tortures myself or just forget them? If you were me, my buddies, what would you do? 

But, no matter what, I still haven't started my day, I need to encourage myself to pass this day with smile, I need to my best everyday, because I am part of Quest, Qualified to be the Best...=)

Quiet

Hmm, wondering where's everybody today. I kept checking on Twitter and I can barely see anybody. I just spend today with memorizing my graduation speech. It was kinda sad when I was practising it, that feeling, came again. I really hope that I won't be like that on Tuesday. Hmmph, that was just like a movie when I was practising the speech, a full of memories 'movie'... Such a day to relax, yet feel lonely. Dunno when I can hang out again with my friends, as most of them are having their final exams. Hope that hang out time come faster, because I really need refreshing myself...

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Productive (?)

Saturday, supposed to be a nice day to relax. Yeah, that's true only in the morning. Around 1 pm, one of my buddies came, as usual, without a clear intention. He just brought his super thick book out and asked me to teach him about his final accounting material. Oh God, I'm not an expert now, I tried to teach him what I knew. I dunno whether he understood or not == As usual, that didn't last long, he started to talk about another things and most hours were used to talk about another things. He stayed for about 3 hours then he went home.

Because of his visit today, yeah, my planned kinda ruined. At first I wanted to finish the graduation speech slide in the afternoon, but he came for a long time, so I postponed it until 7 pm. Yeah, I was just like a stalker who took pics from my friend's facebook profile == I just kept click on "Purplelicious", ZHQ, MT, Wilson, CT, Eric, and Randy's profile to find suitable pics. And I spent more than 3 hours just to make the slides == I'd rather make two persuasive speech than this speech. I also don't know whether my speech and the slides are correct or not. Hopefully, I don't need to redo it. Supposed to help my buddy's grand plan, but it's late already. Dunno call this day productive, or not...==

Semi-over

Hufhh,at last my mid session has over. Ended with marketing presentation, fortunately my group did well although we got some corrections, thanks God =D And the lecturer took my group's proposal file and presentation file as example for other class! Hahax, kinda proud of it XD Well, spent the rest of the day to relax myself, till I dunno what I should do. Spent 2 hours to read about the next chapter of cost accounting. At least, I'm quite productive today XD

Well, got kinda big job from my buddy at Jogja. Just have to do my best to help him, because it's one of the most important thing in his life. Another challenge for me, especially to manage my own time =) Well, this buddy always makes me learn new things, thanks to you, buddy =) Will pray for ur grand plan O:)

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Count on Me~

Just love this song, simple yet meaningful. Dedicated to all of my buddies =)

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,
I'll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,
I'll be the light to guide you

Find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Wooooh, Wooooh
yeah Yeah

If you toss and you turn and you just can't fall asleep
I'll sing a song
beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
Everyday I will
remind you

Ohh
Find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
You'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Wooooh, Wooooh
Yeah Yeah

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry
I'll never let go
Never say goodbye

You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
You'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Wooooh, Wooooh
you can count on me cos' I can count on you

Go. Sadness.

Still having mid tests, which tomorrow will be the last one. Something has been bothering me since yesterday, which is the last speech for public speaking course. Commemorative speech, specifically, graduation speech. Well, as I heard about the speech that I will present, suddenly I felt sad. Yeah, reminiscing over and over again about the last year of my school life will make my tears fall down. I'm afraid that I will shed tears when I am presenting this speech. I try to present happy atmosphere in the speech, yet sad atmosphere must be there. Hufh, this last speech, surely a challenge for me. I finished the speech script already, I want to check this script with my lecturer, if it's okay, then I can make the slides. Haaah, I am also afraid that I will be 'galau' to the max when I make the slides. God, please strengthen me for this final speech... Go away, sadness...

Buddy's Birthday Post~ (Vutet)

Hey hey hey~~~ It's June 19th, and it's one my buddies birthday. One of "Trio Chubby" 's member, which is Veena Salim a.k.a. Vutet!!!XD Hahax, at last your age is 19 already. Well, this amazing clever chubby funny girl has already passed her second semester with great grades, and she is one of 5% best students for her faculty (this is what I remembered, sorry if I'm wrong ^_^v). Now, she also has a part-time job to fill her holiday, and of course to grab some 'cha-ching' thingy XD Well, girl, you are still the same amazing Vutet that I know, no change at all. 

This birthday girl I chat with her almost every day through Whatsapp. There are always 'things' that we can talk about. Problems, achievements, jokes, laughs, crazy things, we share each other every day. She really really help me these times. Well, I really thanked her for her idea of my persuasive speech topic. She really knows me well, and the topic she gave suited me well and I did well on the speech. Hufh, although she is busy most of the day, she still has some time to chat with me. I must be grateful of having this kind of friend, really grateful =D But, alas, she will back to hometown at the end of July and back to SG again at the beginning of August. Such a short time. Really hope that I can hang out again with her and Wenny, and tell lotsa story...

Well, happy birthday Veena, I really hope that you become wiser, more mature, smarter, funnier, chubbier, and all the positive things can be inflated (sok eko :P). And, hope you sooner get new boyfriend yah, hahax...XD This is the surprise that I promised to you XP

(sorry for bad quality pic :p)

Success

Yeay yeay, I finished my surprise "thingy" for Vutet. I thought that I won't be able to make it on time, but fortunately, I can make it. I dunno whether it's nice or not, since she is my first target for this type of surprise. I will ask her for further improvement for another surprise for another buddies after she has seen it. Yeah, today was quite relaxing day, I reviewed statistic in the morning, then I spent my afternoon just by watching TV. I watched final of Indonesia Open, the matches were great, quite heartbeating when I watched it XD Then, I watched Re-Run Indonesian Idol Spectacular Show, and the show was great also. Spent 1 hour to review accounting, then I started to online-ing...

Hihi, dunno why I feel very happy when I did this kind of stuff, seems satisfied with it. The next target will be on August, hope he will like the surprise. I will do my best for the next surprise of buddies' birthday. Have to think of the concept from now on...=D Well, I know that he read my blog posts, hahax, thanks buddy...=)

Just greyish day

Hmm, had class today, and I really didn't have any spirit for it. Yeah, just feel like another "grey" Saturday, when I feel something lost inside my heart. Something which had used to be there, but no longer there anymore. I spent my afternoon by reviewing Statistic, since I will have the mid test next week, then I watched Indonesia Open. Well, I must admit that badminton matches lighten up my mood a lil' bit, the matches were awesome. 

Just rained, at last. Yeah, kinda miss the rain, since it hasn't rained for several days. Quite expressing my mood, my feeling of missing my buddies...

Feeling quite good

Hufh, at last I passed three days of trial. B.Law mid test, IDP speech and Accounting quiz. Did all of that quite well, although there were mistakes, but it's okay for me. God had helped me to pass it. Thanks God =D Suppose to present about the product tomorrow, but the lecturer cancelled the class again. Hufh, glad that I will have a spare time for tomorrow XD But, I must be ready for next week's mid tests, which are about calculation == Need to study start from tomorrow. 

Well, one more month will be one year of that day, hahax, just realized it. The day I changed my point of view of him. Hmm, I supposed to finish the surprise for Vutet's birthday, but my bro took the laptop with him for tonight's shift == My last chance is on Sunday, hope I can finish it on time. Just cheer everyday~ =D

Worn out

No post for awhile, because I was so busy and still quite busy until now. Mid weeks are coming and assignments too. Yesterday was such a hectic day, I did 4 subjects' things in one day, from study Business Law and Cost Acc, practice my speech, and do my Business Marketing project. Today, I had Business Law mid test, luckily it went well, although I have made mistakes already. But no problem, it is only a part of a question. Then, my friends and I decided to end the project, but still, it needs more improvement. I went home around 5, and still I have to prepare myself to go to my uncle's death prayer ceremony. And I was there until 10.30. Hmm, I have to present my speech tomorrow, hope that I can do my best for it.

My uncle passed away two days ago. Yeah, it's quite shocking news. Yesterday was a sorrow day for my family. My father could barely sleep yesterday. My grandma is still crying until now because of the news. Yeah, death, something which is a mystery to all humans. We never realize before it comes. Just be ready when you have to leave this world. God, bless my uncle, may he rest in peace. Amen...

Partly Annoyed

Started today with Business Marketing class. The lecturer said the class would start at 9, but as usual, she was late, and the class started around 9.30. We finished the class around 10.30 and our Financial Management lecturer had waited us. Yeah, he is a kind lecturer and funny. Laughed a lot at his class. Then, the annoying class, which was IDP. I redo my speech, and it wasn't a good speech. Got around 7.5, then he minus my score again because I answered wrongly on his question. Yeah, just keep on doing that, what goes around comes back around. I don't need on having revenge on him, just have the time who will do it for me. All I can do is just do my best on his class, even if I can't get A is not a problem for me. I won't tell a story outside there, the important point is I know the basic of presentation, that's all. Hmm, kinda annoyed, but still I can still hold my patience. Hufh, have a project again, which is Business Marketing. Kinda confused of what product which will be presented. 

Hmm, life's good, when you have nothing to worry about...=)

Try to change

Hmm, this morning I tried to browse about how to hear God's voice. I got many ways, for example through other people, through our environments, etc. If we can hear the audible voice, it refers to some kind of big matter. Well, it means I ever hear God's voice, but through other people, especially from my buddy at Jogja. Not seldom I realize things after I chatted with him. Then, I browsed about how to spend my time with God, I found that I can spend my time with prayer, reading Bible, and worship. Probably the most need patience one is reading Bible. I don't why now I feel hard in reading Bible. I just can't stand, just like rushing to something, I don't what feeling is that. Well, I try and try to chill myself, and somehow I succeed. Now, worship, probably the most difficult to execute, but actually, what form of worship does it need? I have no idea on the real meaning of worship. Well, I also read on finding Christian partners, to help us in translating the real meaning inside the Bible. Hmm, I only know my buddy at Jogja, who really pray and worship to Him. But, I am kinda afraid of asking him become one of the partner, I am afraid of disturbing him, since he is usually busy. I try to change myself, hopefully, I can really change and become blessings to my family. God, please lead me and strengthen me. Amen...

...

Here I am again, in this quiet and silent night, when my bro has night shift. My feeling, again, feels missing my buddies. I didn't chat with any of my buddies today, afraid of disturbing them. Listening to mellow and sad songs, really kill my feeling. Reminiscing again and again about my school time, makes me missing it so much. If there is a time machine, I will go to my school time, the time you can still have fun with your friends, not much things to be thought. Sometimes, just wanna cry when I am remembering those moments. Too precious friends, too precious. Priceless, can't get anywhere else in this world. I wonder if I can still feel like this in next few years ahead. Dunno I am stupid or not, feel this feeling over and over again, torturing myself. Buddies, need you now...

What Am I Meant to You, Buddies?

I just keep asking this question in my mind, "What am I meant to you, my buddies?". I really wanna hear their responses, each of it must be precious. But how to ask? I really dunno the way. They might feel that this is just to "lebay" to be asked. Still, I really want to know the answers. Always wondering, and wondering.