Done My Best

I've done my best to encourage him, to accompany him so that he won't think about it anymore. But still, he keeps on talking it again and again, hahax. Yeah, it needs time, as time passes, I bet he won't talk or relate anything about it anymore. This is the last day I can hangout with him, as I need to prepare myself for final and he'll be going back on Sunday. This past week is the craziest week, 6 days I spent with hangout with friends, hahax. 4 days of them I spent with him. Yeah, I just can pray for you, buddy, let God recover you. Hope that you can concentrate on your studies again, and have fun with your life as usual. Just be the usual buddy that I know, okay? We'll have fun again the next time you come back =)

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Still Grateful in Difficult Days

Hmm, the post-birthday days were just tough. Dunno, I just felt what my buddy felt, but of course not as huge as his. I was sad and still a little sad till now. I cried when I went to church on Sunday. At the time of singing the songs, I couldn't stop crying, fortunately my sis didn't know although she sat beside me. Praise God after that I felt kinda relieved, and I could focus on my college things again. Yesterday, I brought him to have a lunch in order to become his friend to share with. I knew that during this hard time, he needed someone to be talked to. I just wanna do my best as his buddy to help him recover faster. God, please recover him faster...

Haha, am quite happy today. Supposedly to have replacement class till 3 pm, but the lecturer cancelled it because he had to do his things. My class had planned to have a lunch together today, then we went to Kalasan to have it. I never had the feeling that they would celebrate my birthday, as it has been passed for 4 days. After we finished our lunch, suddenly Nency and Lidya came into the restaurant with the birthday cake, hahax. I didn't notice that they were gone. Then, we took many photos and the restaurant did play the 'Happy Birthday' song. This is the second thing I am being grateful of. The first one is that my friends, Stevani and Jessica Wijaya gave me birthday gift. I was touched and it was batik and a watch. I dunno how they knew that I want a watch. I just thought that I want a watch last week and it was come true =) Thanks God, how You love me so much =)) I can't stop of being grateful as You never fail to give many surprises in my life =)

Eventhough I still haven't recovered yet 100%, but almost recovered, I'm still grateful and grateful for blessings in my life. This year's birthday is just very different. Although there were no celebration on the day, but I'm still grateful that God still gives me chance to live. That is the first gift. Another gift is I can help my buddy who is having his difficult time. I'll try my best until he is recovered 100% and become the usual person that I know. Oh yeah, he will be having his competition tomorrow, gonna pray hard for him =). Here are some photos:

 My age is decreasing XD

 Make a wish!

*blew the candle*

 The trio! =D

The quartet!

 Lovely Boston =)

 Gift from SK and JW =D

Yesterday's lunch with him =)

So Wrong

This is the second time of this year, the second person that very close to me, who have done something best but didn't get the deserved things. This is just so wrong, really. Why do these people have to face situation like this? I dunno why, they have done their best, but they have been hurt. People change very fast. If this is the best way for him, then I bet this is what God really wants that it should be happened. I just dunno, it's him who has had the problem, but I am very sad right now. Yeah, fortunately my college things are almost over, coz this thing has a big impact on me also. Just hope everything's gonna be alright. I'm sure that God really loves him and has a better plan for him...

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New Age

Yeah, today is the second birthday in 20s of my life. How I'm grateful that God still gives me chance to live in this world =) I'd like to thank God for my amazing 20's life back then. From the Boston Art Competition, had the chance to join the competition although it was canceled, became the committee of NOMS regional selection for the second year, accepted as KJAI main members, had been recognized as brother of my ex-head, learnt Character Building, first time going to Jakarta alone, boosted friendship with buddies, till have been reading the daily bread. Despite the sad parts of my 20, the happy parts overcome all of them =)

Today was filled with wishes from many people through Line, Whatsapp, Facebook, and Twitter. Received his call this morning to speak of his wishes to me, and Wenny's voice note was heart-touching :') Just grateful that there are still many people who give wishes to me although there was no celebration. Spent my day by going to USU to have the monthly consolidation of North Sumatera. Quite fun talking to my junior and my friend, hahax. Just hope that this 21 can be a great year for me =)

First Long Nag to Buddy

So after I posted the last post, I still couldn't feel relieved, then I posted my feeling as depressed on fb. My buddy suddenly called me to ask me whether I'm okay or not, I just said kinda okay and I'll tell him later about the problem, because it was close to dinner time. Around 8.30, after I indirectly 'forced' my sis to go to my mom's room, I called him and started to nag about my problem. Just around 4 mins then suddenly the call was ended. I thought that the balance had already been 0, but before I had the chance to check, he called me back. Then I continued my nag to him. This is the first time I shared so much story to him. He gave me his point of view and advices, which were make sense I think. After almost one hour, the call was ended suddenly again. He called me several seconds later and I asked him about his account balance that had been spent. Surprisingly, it left 4 millions O.O Wow, how to spend that? We continued our talk and he had his turn to share also. Today is his day to encourage me, hahax. I really thank God for having buddy like him. He made me realized of several things. Thank you buddy, thank you for wasting your time hearing my nags tonight XD I'm very relieved now =)

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Repeated Nag

Here I am again, nagging and whining over something that has been nagged since last year I think. Yeah, about my family. It has been 4 days since my father's leave to Gorontalo, and this house is more silent than usual. Left my mom and my sis with me, the 'family' meaning is blurred already. I dun feel like I'm home, I have the urge to go out somewhere, as long as out from this house. They say your family is your home, my case is not. On last Sunday, I brought them to a café to have our dinner, and wow, no atmosphere at all. Three of us kept our attention on our phones. I felt weird, my mom couldn't open a topic to be talked of, it was me who always found a topic to be talked of. It was ... meaningless.

This is what happened when ur family isn't based on love. To tell you, I was raised in an autocratic family, yeah, military-like family. My mom is a strict person, no matter what ur reason is, as long as you violate the rules, you are in deep trouble. Meanwhile my dad is not very emotional person, but once he is angry, then it seems to be the end of the world. My mom is also a negative thinker person, which is caused by her lack of self-confidence. I used to inherit that thing, but as I grew up and learnt about Christian, I changed my mindset of being always think negatively. Just like a coin, there is always a good and a bad side of their parenting pattern. The good side is I grew up with discipline and good attitude, but the bad side is, I never feel direct love of them. I am human, I have physical and mental needs. I am grateful that they put me in Christian school, and all of this time I can fulfill my mental needs through prayer. It's useless to tell them about your problems, it'll end up with the responses that u can expect since the time you start to tell your problems, and I dun want to burden them further with my problems. I never share my problems anymore since SHS, except for very serious problems. This family really lacks of love. I even forget the last time I ever hug my parents. We rarely say 'thank you' and 'sorry'. They think that saying those words are very embarrasing. We rarely celebrate birthday, and even they forgot their children's birthday.

When I see my friends' family, I often envy with them. Their family is the real family in general. Their parents can express love freely, and so do their children. Especially when I see E's family, wow, how I wish I were in his family. Is it equivalent between having no parents or family with the situation that I'm having? If yes, all of you should know what my respond is. I try to love them, but it's hard with this kind of situation. I know I'm supposed to be grateful of still having a family, of still having complete parents until now. But what is happening is I'm like a stranger in this house, and my sis also changed into a loner. Oh God, sorry if I nagged too much and showed to You that I'm not grateful about the situation that I'm having right now. Only this is just what I felt.

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Welcoming My Month

Well, my month has come. Began it with an unusual day for me. My father went to Jakarta today, as the first stop before going to Gorontalo to see my bro's condition and also find opportunities to expand his business. Then, me, the only boy left in my family, must be responsible for protecting my mom and sis for a week. This morning, I had an appointment with my friend, Randy, to meet my lecturer, to ask for my campus students' database for his survey. Fortunately my lecturers welcomed him, however they couldn't give him the database as it's the privacy of the students. Actually he can conduct a survey in my campus, but the problem is that my campus can't give him stamp as the verification proof. Feel bad can't help him. Despite that, he said that my campus status is not permitted by his lab assistant, as my campus is "Sekolah Tinggi", not a university. The last unusual thing is that I fetched my sis from her school for the first time and I was almost crazy because of the traffic jam!

Another good news from him, he made it! He got the second rank for the competition that he joined =) Always be the buddy that I can be proud of, never stop on making and giving excitements in my life. Really grateful of having him as my buddy, thanks God for letting me be best buddy with him =) Well November, I can't wait what excitement you will give me this time.