Realize

Had a hangout with Wen and Vut today. We decided to watch a movie, named "5 cm". An Indonesian movie. Actually I've read the novel around 3 years ago. The story was great in the novel. It's about friendship of 4 man and 1 woman. When I read that, I just felt the nice effect of the story, not the real meaning of it. Yes, it's because I hadn't known so many things in life when I was in school. Now, after I've watched the movie, I realized several things. That it's not weird that I miss my buddies so badly. That when I am apart with my buddies means a chance to achieve my dreams. That doing things with my buddies are not a waste. All what I ever feel are real and normal in a human's life.

Buddies, yeah, they never fail to make me happy, laugh, tell all my problems to them. I should be more grateful, that I ever know them =) No matter how annoying they can be, I always forgive them very fast. Haha, dunno either it's my strength or weakness, but that makes me always end up with talking to them again =D Haaah, thanks to that great movie, now I'm really glad that friendships are supposed to be like these and treasures that I must keep them till I die =)

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Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you, guys! I really wish that we could gather at Christmas Eve =( Hmm, how I really wish also that we could have a Christmas celebration. But then, we are apart and can't find any circumstances, so that we barely can celebrate it together. But I believe someday we can celebrate it together again =) Hope that we can have a joyful and peace Christmas this year. Joyeux Noël! =D

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Fading

Hmph, this is my thought these days. Is it normal for separated buddies to be like this? I mean that, I feel like as days pass, I can let them go, not feeling that intense missing feeling again. I just feel like they're normal friends, without any special bonds. It's just fading day by day. I can stop finding them in weeks, maybe it can be months and years. Is this normal? Is this what it's supposed to be? I just need the answer. One thing, I dun wanna lose anyone of them. But then, I dunno why I feel like that now. Even I'm having a month trial of stop contacting them. I wanna see how I can live without them in a month and do they even bother to find me. I just hope for one thing, that we are still the 'us'...

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Girlfriend, Soulmate, When?

This question is now often asked by my friends or relatives, "When will u find a girlfriend?" Or, they always said this sentence," Well, you should find a girlfriend now" Yeah, I know that because of my age now they will say or ask about that. Girlfriend, sometimes I am wondering how it feels like of having a girlfriend. But then, I am a realistic person, that makes me stop of wondering about it. There are some reasons why I don't want to have, or even find a girlfriend until now.

First, the very basic reason is (I'm kinda embarrassed of saying this) I never fall in love with a girl. YES, IT IS TRUE. I never feel love at the first sight, or love a girl very much that make me crazy of her. If somebody asked me do I ever like a girl then I will say yes. I ever like a girl, just LIKE, it means that her beauty only, but not LOVE her. Then, the second reason is that the most realistic one. Are there any girls who want to date with a jobless and not rich boy? I bet no. Now, I'm still jobless and dun have any vehicle to drive. Minimum, a girl wants to be fetched by a car now. Not many girls want to be fetch with motorcycle. Then, another reason is I am still a selfish person until now. Yeah, I often do things that benefit my own life. Just imagine, I rarely can sacrifice something to my family, so how can I sacrifice something to someone outside my family? So I won't find any girlfriend if I'm still like that rather than I ever hurt a girl's feelings. The last one maybe, I still have many dreams to be achieved. I can't concentrate on two things, and I choose my dreams first.

Maybe people will find myself weird, but this is me. Just let the life flows, and I believe someday God will give me a girl that I can really love =)

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(Blue) Early December

It's only 5th December, yet many bad news that I've heard. From boyfriend's death to broken heart. I know that all of those things are not happened in my life, but I do feel sad when I hear all of them. Yeah, life, is fully unexpected. Many people said,"Expect the unexpected". That's what I need to learn. Hmm, really hope that I won't hear any bad news again and I also hope that this December will be a cheering month, because Christmas is coming to town! =) Let's hope for the best to be happened. Anndddd, the best for my final exam =)

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Gloomy?

Entered the third subject to be studied today, and finished it kinda late, maybe around 4 pm although the questions that will be out at final exam are only 4 questions. Yeah, I was not really concentrate to study today, as bad news came. One of my friends' boyfriend passed away yesterday. It was kinda shocking for me, and of course too shocking for her. It was really sad, even for me. Life is full of unexpected things, including the death itself. Hmph, although I never know her boyfriend, but I feel sad on his death. It was just .... speechless, couldn't say anything. Hmm, I just can pray for her so that she can be strong to accept this reality, and of course to move on...

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