Blue end of month

Woke up in a blue feeling, knowing that my buddy will fly back to Jogja. Hufh, dunno why I feel sad this time. I am not in feeling of doing anything. I tried to make that feeling fade away by listening to songs, reading ebook and watching TV. Hmph, slowly but sure, I let go that feeling. Now I feel much better. I dunno why these days I can't eat well, my stomach feels like chewed and dun have any interest in filling my stomach. Hope I can eat well tomorrow. Well my buddy, really hoping to see you again on your next holiday, share lotsa stories. You were such a great leader yesterday, I didn't feel regret, but full of pleasure working with you in a team, which was lotsa fun in it...=) Gonna start working tomorrow, have to work hard and study hard, for my future...

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Just like a dream

Started today by waking up 10 minutes before 5 am. It was before my alarm rang...== I could barely sleep last night, as I feel afraid of my job today, think of I could succeed or not. Then, after taking a bath and breakfast, the leader of the committee, which is my buddy from Jogja, fetched me around 15 minutes after 6 am. Suprisingly saw Randy in his car...XD Sudden volunteer for the event. Then, we arrived at school around 6.30 and the school was still dark. We put our things at the pointed room, but the power was off. It took about half an hour to switch on the power...== Then, CT and Aciwe came as we waited for the power to be turned on. We had a short technical meeting before the event started. Then, at 7 am, the participants were coming, Randy and Aciwe became the ones who directed the participant to the registration place. CT became the one who re-registered the participants, while I helped with tie the rope for participants' co-cards. Eric was busy in telephoning or doing other stuffs. Around 8, we started to ready ourselves for the event. Me and Randy got the responsibility for the last room, while Eric in the first room and Aciwe and CT in the second room.

Well, I was quite nervous in starting greeting the participants. I greeted them just as Eric taught me and Aciwe yesterday. Thanks God, it went well. Then, the competition started at 8.30. Me and Randy started to watch over students. But, just only half an hour, Randy was asked by Eric to watch over his room, because he wanted to took the consumption for the participants. Well, it took a very long time, until the last hour, Randy came back. Now I know, becoming the one who is watching over students in an exam is not easy, because I have to watching them over at most of the time to ensure that they aren't cheating. Hufh, I was keeping walking around, so that the students wouldn't know where would I watch them. Actually, most of the participants were done doing the questions before time's up, but one student still doing her work, while other participants had left the room. So, me and Randy had to watch her alone...== After that, the time's up, and we gathered the participants in a room to give the snacks to them and Eric's gonna did a short briefing to them. After they were disbanded, we could relax for a little while and eat the snacks as well. Well, I couldn't eat too much because the rejection of my body, usual syndrome if I am hungry for a long time. After that, we moved to our lovely SHS administration office to check the answers. It took about one and a half hour. After all of the scores had been inputed, then the results were out. Hmph, seems like Eric's gf wasn't lucky this year, her team got the third place, while each regional only takes two teams with the highest scores. Yeah, but I thought that her gf wasn't upset, as her team made a great job by obtaining the third place. Eric seemed to not believe that her gf's team didn't pass, but that was just for a while. After that, we started to clean up things, then CT and Eric's gf started ladies work, which was took almost unlimited photos with Eric's lappie...XD Then, we took some pics of committees. Always 'narsis'...XD

After that, we decided to find a restaurant to fill our stomach. We were very very hungry. First, we wanna go to Nelayan, but it must be 6 pm to get in. We changed our destination to Ayam Penyet Ria. We had lotsa fun when we were there, teasing and bullying CT, saw the romance between Eric and his gf, shared about our uni's stories. Then, we decided to go home, and Eric said goodbye to all of us except the ones who he fetched home... Well, well, well, a very coincidence thing happened. WK, 'Purplelicious', Jowi, and Suryady passed by that place and saw Eric's car. We greeted them and told some jokes to them. Yah, it was nice to see them. Very nice...=D

After that, Aciwe fetched me home. I waited for my fam to fetch me to dinner place. Just an ordinary and boring dinner. Yeah, I almost feel 0% of happiness and comfort in this family. Really, I can be more comfortable with my friends. I really wanna live out there alone.

Well, today's events are just like dreams, passes too fast...=') And my buddy gonna fly back to Jogja tom, safe flight my bro, hope u always do your best out there. Will always pray for ya...=) And thanks for inviting me as one of the committee, it was really a great pleasure and experience...=) Hufh, quite tired today, gonna hit the bed soon...

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Short and emerging meeting

Meet my buddy from Jogja today. Not because of wanna meet and share, but for technical meeting for the competition held by his university. He asked me to become one of the committee and another Questers were also asked by him. Quite happy can meet him...=) The technical meeting went for about one and half hours, then we went to our school to set up things for tomorrow. Yeah, quite tired for today, but it was worth. It's a great pleasure to help him, as he helped me back then...=) Actually, he had come back to hometown last two days, but as usual, he never told anyone...==

Gonna pray hard today, so I can do my job well tomorrow, and I must wake up early. Quite heartbeating, but I am prepared already. Do the best for tomorrow!!!=D

Wondering again~

Will my buddies think it as bullshits if I tell them they are my best buddies? Why do their responses seemed to be not believe in what I said? I wonder how, what they feel about these friendships, I really wanna listen to what they feel about me. Haaaaaaahhhhh, unfortunately only one of my buddies who follows this blog, but I think she doesn't give the same response. It's ok for me, at least I have them who I called buddies...=)

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Black magic,power,whatever~

I am quite sad cause my family still believe in those black evil spirits and rely on them in their life. I dunno why they can believe that so much, in those things, only lies and suffers exist. I dun even see a single benefit they get, yet they still believe it so much. They dun know what are the risks in involving such things. Yes, it can bring you temporary happiness, but it will tie you up until you die and throw you to hell. You will suffer when you are dying. I never believe in those things, they are bullshits. Those are just devil's works. What that thing is called 'your bodyguard' is just devil's chain that tied you.

I am sad, truly sad, why my father can share these things joyfully to others. He is no different with a devil who pulls others into these things. I dunno how to change their beliefs into disbeliefs. I just want them to believe in Jesus, cause the truth lies in Jesus. But, they are dictators, so how I can convince them? God, please change their hearts. Bless their life and change their beliefs into belief in Your power. Whatever happens, God, please change them. Amen...

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Remember, reminiscing

Again, and again.

This silent, quiet night.

Make my mind go through the pasts.

My childhood, when not much things to think, when I can have comfortable sleep.

My school times, when friendships formed, when many things I can learn from my friends, when my best friends come out and enter my life, when the only thing I think is only study, when fun occurs almost every day.

Now, there will be no those things again, too much things to think of, not a comfortable sleep that I have, lonely, and alone.

There, there my buddies, should I just make the clones of you? To kill this feelings of lonely and missing? Not even a single thing can bring back our time just like back then...

Rest

Tired of less than 48 hours to Penang to check my sinusitis condition. Dun wanna talk about it anymore, tired of thinking the operation. I must get a work, that's my aim now. I dun wanna depend on my dad again, cause I found his sad expression because of financial things. I want to learn to use my own money to feed myself. Thanks to my buddy who supports me, I'm glad that you are there when I need you...=) Hufh, I just need some rest to recover myself physically and mentally.

There was a rare thing that happened tonite. My buddy at Jogja suddenly chatted with me. I thought that he wanted to spend some time to chat, but he asked me to do him a favor...== Yeah,as one of regional committee of the medical competition held by his university. He asked me because the test will be held in our school. At first, I thought about the school, I mean the teachers that I might meet, luckily it's on Sunday...Phew... Maybe he will ask some other friends again. I do him a favor this time, not only because he is my best buddy, but also he already did a favor to me. Hahax...XD Life needs take and give, it's not good to 'take' most of the time.

I really hope that this time it will work, that I can depend on this job to earn some cash. Jesus, please bless this job...Amen...

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Out day~

My first day of holiday I filled it with hang out with my buddy. =) It's quite a long time since the last time. We went to Sun Plaza at about 2.30 pm. Then,we decided to stop at the book store,then find a place to sit to start our chat. Well, quite missing this kind of chat, a long long chat that is longer than any talk shows...XD Well, we did share many things, our universities' life, daily life, future plans. He's planning on joining magic competition again. Hope the best for u dude, will always pray for u...=) After that, we went to a far place, a complex of houses. He told me that the houses are very amazing, and yes, very very very amazing. They are not houses, but palaces. I wonder how much money do they have. XD Then, he fetched me home...

Well, spend an hour and a half on studying cost accounting tonite, seems like it's kinda interesting. Hope I dun get bored as I learn further. Quite tiring day, but I'm happy...=)

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Finished

I already passed second semester final!!!At last, I finished my second semester. Kinda relief and happy. But there will be only two weeks holiday. After that, the third semester begins...== But it's better to have short holiday, so I dun get bored almost everyday. In this holiday, I plan to learn cost accounting, which is one of the modules for the next semester. Hope that I can finish it.

Hmm, I also want to try to do NAO's questions, but dunno my buddy wanna collaborate with me or not. Currently, I am seeking a job. But, can't find one that suits me. I need a job to fulfill my daily needs, as my home savings are depleting everyday...T.T God, please give me a hint for this, I really wanna find a work that suits me.

Oh yeah, tomorrow will be boys out day again. Me with my buddy wanna hangout somewhere to chat, cause we don't do that for quite a long time. Hope tomorrow will be a great day...=)

To someone out there, I really care with u...=)

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Hmph...

The first day of my second semester final test. Not doing good, as I answered correctly only one out from five reading questions. Hufh, just let what the results will be, just pray to God and everything's gonna be alright. Home isn't a nice place to me anymore, actually my parents make it like that. They keep saying my weaknesses, seldom care about me. I'm just tired mentally now. I really need my buddies to share about this, at least to share. 

Hey my buddy at Jogja, I really want to chat with u, to share about this thing. I dunno when I can chat with you, cause you seemed to be very busy, and as I see you online at fb, your girlfriend are also online, and I respect you by not disturbing you. Hufh God, I really wanna all things become normal again. I just feel that I'm alone, no one to share. as all of my buddies are busy also. God, please make me stronger and stronger, so that I won't rely on my buddies too much. 

Something made me lighten up a little, which was NAO (National Accounting Olympiad), held by the university where my buddy at Jogja is studying there now. Although I didn't join this year, at least the web provided the questions for the preeliminary round this year. I can know what will be tested, hopefully I can join next year. But, it requires hardwork of course, cause almost all fields of accounting are tested. God, thanks for a little light for today...=)

Missing

Kinda missing having a face-to-face chat with my buddies. Hufh, such a sudden in this silent night. Gotta sleep to charge my energy for tomorrow. がんばって!!!

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Blamed

Tired of being blamed, by my own parents. It's such a simple thing that doesn't have to be blamed, but they do. I dunno whether they are good parents or not, as there is no an accurate indicator for that. I'm tired being treated like this. Maybe remain silent is the best way. Dun blame me if I stay silent next time. It's u who made me like this. I never feel comfort again in this house, never. They never understand me. Question this thing often, are they my real parents? Stupid, but needed to be questioned. Just till today I always keep my anger, disappointment on them. I rarely express it. Thanks God that He can lift those things up as if I never felt it. Only Him, who can encourage me to live in this world. I dun have anyone who can understand me well, except Him. Am I really alone in this world? Pray, pray and pray; that's the key to calm myself.

Gonna start final tomorrow, guess have to sleep earlier tonite, so I won't oversleep. Jesus, please bless my final...Amen...

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Don't feel like doin' anything

Hmm, it's almost done the first week of "pre-final" holiday, I really dunno what to do. I just kept playing PSP or tab, just kept online-ing. Really hope next week comes faster, to make myself a lil' bit busy. Actually, I will have a group study on Monday with Questers, hope it will be fun. Hufh, feeling alone. Really sad when you don't have your buddies around you to chat with. I missed chatting with them, shared laughters. =(

One of Quester just moved to Germany,and he left Medan two days ago. Yeah, proud of him, since he could make it to Germany. I think he can take care of himself there. May you have a success life there! =)

Urgh, I can't wait for another new semester, dunno why I'm so excited. XD But, I need something new, yeah, something fresh that I never do. But what ya? I am learning shufflin' these last two weeks, as I found it fun. It's cool also somehow. Hope I can continue learning it until I can shuffle like a professional...=)

Unhappy

Yes,I am unhappy with my family
I am unhappy with their way of thinking
I am unhappy with their acts
I am unhappy with how they deal with me
I am unhappy with their secular way
I am unhappy with their discrimination with my belief
So unhappy,dun blame me if I dun care with them
Speaking about the truth, I care my friends more than them
Jesus cares about me, and I survive until now because of that
Just please keep me alive in the name of Jesus, God...
Amen...

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Pre-final

Well,yesterday was the last day of second semester. It was quite tough day,cause there were sudden final speaking test and final listening test, and the wedding speech. I was nervous about the speech, but it turned out well. Thanks God...=) I also wanna thank my buddy and his girl for the permission, both of them are such an amazing couple to be told.

These last 5 days I kept tutoring "Purplelicious" about accounting, since she will be having the final test tomorrow morning. Quite challenging in tutoring her, because she's not very good in accounting and I had to find easy words to explain most of the materials...XD Today, I decided to make a revision note to her, content all of her materials, and I finished that about 3 hours...>< The most annoying part was sending those files to her, my internet connection was like inside a jungle. I tried many devices, many apps to send those files. The last resort, which was using Email app from the tab, and Praise God it could send!!! Like finally...==

Hopefully, she can do the test well tomorrow. You can do it girl!!! Dun disappoint ur sensei!!! XD Just joking... Will pray for ur success...=) Guess tomorrow will be the real pre-final holiday...

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