Amnesia Like

This afternoon I read a note posted by a friend of my buddy, it was about his disappointment towards some friends of his in relation to Christian. After I read that note, I finally knew the real meaning of disappointment. It was normal for a human to be disappointed, but Jesus doesn't want it. So we should go back to what we used. Maybe I was also disappointed with my buddies. But, how do I go back to what I used to be? I forgot the way I talk or share with them, as our intensity of meeting each other can be counted with one side of hand. Just like having an amnesia. Just now I chatted with one of my buddies. It was very cold indeed, I myself even lied to her as I said that I was alright. I dunno how to go back to two years ago situation, when we could chat and share everything we want. I know that I'm the one who is changed, and I'm still trying to stop that change and go back to where I used to be. A dillema of my life. This ego feeling often stops me from starting a chat with them. God,  please help me solve this problem...

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